A friend of mine tonight posted on her fb that she was excited about the new Red album. I sent her a text and was like "huh??" She told me to check out this song, so I did. I like it.
Before things went sour with that guy another friend of mine asked if I was going to be the same, if I was going to be ok, if he didn't feel the same way about me that I did about him. I told her that I didn't think anyone was ever the same when their love was rejected, whether it be a woman to a man, a parent to their child, whatever the situation. To love someone and not have them love you back, quite simply, hurts. And I told her, no, I didn't think I would be the same if that happened...I told her I would be ok eventually, and I will be, but not the same.
And that is what I am...not the same, and not yet ok...but not not-ok. I'm just kind of...here.
Where I am geographically located right now we're having beyond cold temperatures, we've had some ice and snow, and rolling blackouts. I haven't been to work since Monday, and am not going tomorrow either. Today reminded me of a day in junior high when we had an ice storm and school wasn't called off...we got to school and had no power...the entire day. We were herded into our school's gym at some point, a lot of kids were lucky enough to have their parents come get them, but my mom couldn't come get me until about one o'clock in the afternoon. If you've ever been without power for any significant time in your home, the only thing I can tell you is that the only thing worse than being without power in your home is being without power somewhere that is not your home. And it reminded me of him...we went to junior high and high school together. I think everyone I went to junior high with remembers that day...but I really wanted to contact him today. I did not. But I really wanted to.
So. That was today...not the same.
I think you're right. We're never the same after we lose love. Eventually, we're okay - maybe even better in some ways - but not the same.
ReplyDelete@Sue - Right? It changes you. I was talking to my aunt a few weeks ago and she told me that when my cousin's heart got broken a few years back, that she could literally see a physical change in my cousin. I thought, "Absolutely...that totally makes sense..." (Sidebar: my cousin is happily married to an amazing man now.) But it makes so much sense that it changes almost everything about you...and hopefully makes you a little wiser.
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